Tuesday, March 21, 2006


It just hit me, I have a great idea for a business that I think will make me a fortune. I am going to open up my own Jack Kevorkian assisted suicide business for all you Cubs fans that are ready to committ Harry Caray. Let's see for 100$ I will put you Cubs fans out of your misery and end it all.

With the Illini's predictable second round choke job in the NCAA (although a big, no I mean HUGE assist goes to the three idiots that must have won some contest and got to be refs for a NCAA game. Well let's just call it what it was-we got screwed and lost to a pathetic team in Washington who made 5 baskets in the second half, thanks to 39 free throws compared to our 11). That's right I called Washington pathetic, and if Jay Bilas and Dick Enberg would have atleast stopped slurping Brandon Roy long enough they might have realized that he only made 4 field goals in the whole game. Brian Randle shut him down atleast until the refs bailed him out and put him at the line where he scored 12 of his 20 points. Along with those that, the Bears appear to be willing to settle for the team we got right now, they have signed nobody and I mean nobody, all while being 23 million dollars UNDER the salary cap. They offered Randle El like 5 bucks an hour if he wanted to come home to Chicago, no wonder why we missed out on him. I guess we got the team we got.

I can understand the rational thinking of Jerry Angelo, and when you think about it it makes perfect sense...if we actually improved the team especially the offense, who knows we might actually get to the playoffs again, and then once we got there we might actually maybe win a game, and then once we won one game we might get some momentum built up and go to the Super Bowl, heck we might even win the Super Bowl. That would be great but then once you do that other teams will be raiding your roster looking for free agents then we will have to give everyone a raise to keep them so screw it let's just keep the guys we got which is pretty much the same roster we had the year before when we finished 5-11, settle for 1 trip to the playoffs every 5 years or so, please don't actually win the game just make the playoffs so we can raise our ticket prices and sell more tickets. We wont have to pay anyone and we can stay 23 million under the cap. Collect out 100 million dollars from the league every year in TV revenues and make a fortune. We can go 5-11 every year, have the 4th over all pick and keep drafting running backs who idolize a pot smoking, new age-idiot, who bails out on his team and only decides to return when he finds out he will be forced to give back all the money he stole from the organization.

On second thought, I might be my first customer..

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Why doesn't this surprise me?

Mark Prior is feeling discomfort in his shoulder and missed his most recent pitching session so he can be examined by Dr. Lewis Yocum:

Chicago Cubs pitcher Mark Prior will see a specialist in Los Angeles on Wednesday after cutting short a throwing session due to soreness in his right shoulder.

Prior was scheduled to pitch off the mound Tuesday, but he never got there. The shoulder flared up during long tossing.

"It wasn't getting loose so we weren't going to try it," pitching coach Larry Rothschild said.

The right-hander will be examined by Dr. Lewis Yocum.

Peoria Northsider Report projected Cubs opening day rotation:

#1 Zambrano
#2 Maddux
#3 Rusch
#4 Williams
#5 Hill

By way of observation: at this point in his career, Maddux is barely a serviceable #5, but injuries will force him to fill the #2 spot.

That's serious trouble folks. You'd better be praying the offense puts up some serious runs with that rotation (at least Lee looks to be picking up where he left off - however - he just paid a visit to Slocum too after bruising his shoulder in the WBC:

Meanwhile, first baseman Derrek Lee visited Yocum on Tuesday after he bruised his left shoulder diving to catch a foul ball during the United States' victory over Japan on Sunday at the World Baseball Classic.

I'd say the Cubs pretty much have locked up a 3rd place divisional finish.

Good thing the organization was so aggressive in the offseason eh?

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Wrigley Latrine Action

I thought twice about even posting this, but after serious deliberation, I have decided to point everyone toward this video snippet of one seriously disturbed Cub fan. Those who have experienced the lovely troughs in the men's bathrooms at Wrigley and might have a story or two about them can add another to their book of Wrigley Field lore.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006


Well, I may have been a little hasty in predicting earlier that the USA was going to win this deal.

Don't get me wrong, I think the US team is very solid but I saw the first few innings of the Dominican/Venezuela game yesterday, and there is no doubt the Dominican lineup is extremely solid.

In fact I think this may be the best lineup ever assembled on one team, including All Star Games. How would you like to pitch to this...

Alfonso Soriano 2b
Miguel Tejada ss
Albert Pujols 1b
David Ortiz dh
Moises Alou lf
Adrian Beltre 3b
Jaun Encarnacion rf
Ramon Hernandez c
Willy Tavares cf

That's just freaking ridiculous. That's 2 MVP's, 3 Rookies of the Year, and a combined 164 HR's last year FROM THE FIRST 4 GUYS IN THE ORDER. The rest of the lineup aint too shabby either.

I am not too sure about the Dominican's pitching staff, they had Bartolo Colon pitching yesterday, so I think the US definitely has the edge in pitching and they're going to need it going up against this lineup.

The US bullpen is sick with Lidge, Cordero, Street, (I think Wagner pulled out) - but that's still an imposing threesome in the late innings. If we're ahead after the 6th, forget it - game over.

The Dominican lineup is ridiculous though. It's going to be very tough to beat that. Early in the spring anyone will tell you that the pitching is ahead of the hitting, but that didn't seem to matter to these guys when they get 11 runs off of Johan Santana, Carlos Zambrano, and a very strong Venezuelan pitching staff.

Needless to say I am seriously hoping for a USA/Dominican match up. I must confess it was a little heart wrenching to be happy when Derrek Lee hits a homerun. I'm also looking forward to a Pujols /Lidge battle.

You have to admit these great meaningful games are a lot more interesting than watching some Class A stiff with numer 89 on his back striking out against some other bum you never heard of, with a bunch of pitchers jogging across the outfield.

It is officially baseball season. Praise God.

Friday, March 03, 2006

More Pictures from the Peoria Northsider Report...

Well, we think you've had to suffer through Randy's mug long enough so we're going to brighten things up around here a little bit.

After all, there's nothing of note going on in Cub land - this team as presently constructed will fight for 3rd or 4th in the division this year (sorry to burst the bubble of BCB readers).

In fact, here's a picture that captures what I anticipate will be the essence of the Cubs season this year (picture the Cubs as the guy on the right):

Can anyone say F-U-T-I-L-I-T-Y? All together now...

In case you're wondering, the 800 pound gorilla on the left won the fight.

Well, that's the extent of the Cubs related content of this post.

And now for something completely different...

To wit, we're going to indulge in the posting of some family photos at TPNR.

Here's my oldest son (Christopher Jr) and I at an apple farm this last October:

Here's my youngest son (Calvin Nicholas) in his room among his animals:

Finally, and since we are, after all, infidels at this site - here's my personal favorite of the [in]famous Mohammed cartoons:

That is really quite funny.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Red States Randy in Cubs Glory...

Ok - here are the long awaited photos of Red States Randy (the resident Cardinals fan here at our blog of the truly cursed) sporting that glorious Cubs hat that he rashly vowed he would wear last season if Derrek Lee beat Albert Pujols in even one of the three triple crown categories:

That's a close-up of Randy - I think he looks rather happy wearing that hat - don't you?

In fact, I'll bet that after seeing these photos he wishes he would make rash vows more often.

Here's one of Randy in his natural habitat conversing with a fellow simpleton (i.e., Cardinals fan):

As you might be able to tell from these pictures, Randy is a rather large fellow. In fact, he was an offensive lineman for a NCAA Division I football program (on a football scholarship no less) when he was in college.

That's one of the reasons I chuckle when I see commentators on our blog leave insulting or sniping comments to Randy's posts.

I'm fairly certain they wouldn't have the fortitude to say to his face the sentiments they occasionally leave in the combox.

Oh well. Randy - thanks for being a good sport! And if you care to make any more hasty vows in the near term, we're all ears my friend!